Divorce Issues

Threatening Divorce in a fight

Why do couples divorce when they are empty nesters?
Written by divorcelap

Are you being threatened by divorce in your relationship? Are you tired of listening to the phrase; “Well, if things don’t work, let’s just split up?” and look for a way out? You are at the right place!

When you and your partner are in the middle of an argument and one of you threatens “Divorce”, here is where problems begin to start. You or your partner may have in mind that divorcing or splitting up is the only way out of your conflicts.

You know, why this attitude is so harmful towards your relationship? It is because, unless you and your partner are committed that, no conflict or argument can put you apart- it is hard to feel secure in relation. 

Threatening divorce in a fight

It’s hard to find out what your partner really means when he or she threatens divorce because everyone is different. Following are few reasons why the partner might be threatening divorce in a fight: – 

  • To attain leverage: The threat of divorce can be extremely scaring, and your partner knows it. If your partner is threatening you with divorce, they might be trying to push you into doing what they want or trying to attain the upper hand in the fight.
  • To Win an argument: Your partner might threaten to divorce you in the middle of a fight just because they want to win the argument.

Whenever you use “Threat of Divorce” in an argument, you are actually excluding the basic relation needs. You are making your spouse insecure by giving the vibe that the relationship is not a safe place to be or the relation is not able to withstand any stress or hardship.

What happens when you threaten divorce?

During a conflict or an argument, emotions are going wild, and a lot of things are said that are in the heat of the moment and you may consider that the narcissist threatens divorce, but the “threat of divorce” should never be said by both of you. Following are the damages you may face when you threaten divorce;

Sense of insecurity

Where marriage is supposed to provide both partners a sense of security, mainly, by the “threat of divorce”, you are damaging the “sense of security” your partner gets in marriage. It changes the way of your conflict and arguments, opening the door to a future problem. Your partner may also start thinking about divorce.

Making arguments worst

Instead of directly solving the issue and finding a way out to resolve it, the “divorce threats” make conflict worse. Combining the frustration and hurting feel with lack of security will only make the problems worse.

Communication difficulty

When you or your partner has made the ultimate threat of divorce, it makes it harder to talk about the underlying problems. Your partner may become more likely to hide things from you or less likely to talk to you about the problems in the future.

It creates a serious communication gap which in its own self is an issue. Threatening divorce emotional abuse can be serious and major damage to the relationship.

How do you respond to divorce threats?

There can be two ways of responding to “Divorce threat”, either you burst out in anger or either you choose to find a way out. When both of you and your partner are in heat of the moment, it’s better for one partner to step one foot back.

If you are in an argument with your partner which is escalating and leading towards threatening divorce emotional abuse, either one of you got to look up to the following points: – 

  • Firstly, you both need to cool down which is very important. We know that after listening to a “threat of divorce” it’s not easy to control your nerves, but still you need to calm down.
  •  Secondly, it is very important for you to talk about it before you or your partner just storm out. Lack of communication leads you to unsolved issues and non-ending problems.
  • Thirdly, set a time limit with your partner, and promise your partner to come back — and then carry on the discussion in a better way.

Supposing, you may tell your partner that; “The conversation has got too heated. Take time and tell your partner that you need to go into the other room for a few minutes before you both end up regretting.” This will let your partner know that you are committed to approaching a change and you’re not just neglecting him. 

It is not easy to go in flow with harsh threatening divorce emotional abuse but take time to calm down and reach back to your partner. This will show your partner that you promised to come back and so as you did it. Then you are prepared to carry on the conversation being more leveled up than where you left it before.

Can my husband throw me out of the house?

Are you the one thinking whether my husband can throw me out of home? Or, what to do when the husband tells me to leave when we argue? Here is the answer!

No, your husband cannot throw you out of the house. Whatever the reason is your spouse has no right to throw out the partner as it is against marital relation and norms as well as the law and order. 

There are two separate independent reasons that your spouse cannot throw you out of the house even if you both are “working out the divorce”. 

  • Firstly, Regardless of the ownership (of one spouse) of the house, the law tells that your spouse cannot throw you out of the marital home (the residence you have as spouses). Making your spouse homeless, denying to share your house with him or her- this is against the concept of “marriage” in society. 
  • Secondly, when you and your partner own a house, you both own it together, usually called “joint tenants”.  You both are owners of the property and the law is very clear that one owner cannot throw out the other owner or otherwise they would be excluded from the use and possession of the property. As long as you both are on the title, neither one of you could throw out the other partner. You better know the law and should be aware of the fact and not be scared over “husbands tell me to leave when we argue”. 

Why does my husband leave when we argue?

You and your partner are in close proximity and it is very natural to have conflicts. Do you feel like often your partner threatens to leave when we argue?

Sometimes you may be having harsh arguments with your partner and you may feel you are fighting over the same thing 6th time in the same week. It can be appealing to slam the door and rush out of room to avoid the conflict or argument or you just don’t want to face it. 

At that time, you may have no idea you are leaving a storm of questions behind by leaving a discussion in between and it can be hurtful and can stay stuck in mind for a long time leading towards harsh feelings.

Your argument may lead your husband into depression and might be your bipolar husband threatens divorce. Your husband might get annoyed by the disturbance of peace in a home which makes him leave in between any argument. So you really need to ponder over these things like your answer to that “partner threatens to leave when we argue.

How to respond to divorce threats?

Hold on! You know your bipolar husband threatens divorce but before you respond towards your partner, take a step back and try to find out how you feel about your relationship and what you want from your partner.

In any way, you choose to respond to a threat of divorce, think about what you want for your relationship in the future, and consider whether or not you are able to deal with these threats or not. Following are ways to respond to divorce threat;

Communicate with your partner 

Try to have an open and clear discussion with your partner where both of you explain where you’re coming from. Discuss how the threat of divorce hurts you and ask your partner if the threats are serious. Both of you must talk about the issue and try to find a way out.

Work on your relation 

Discuss with your partner if the one wants to figure out things in a proper way. Work on the things you consider to be weak in your relationship such as proper time, proper communication, understand the point of view of both sides, etc. 

This shall prove better for your relation. It’s better not to drag issues and try to find a way out.


There are factors such as attaining leverage and winning an argument that may push you or your partner to threaten with divorce in a fight or argument.

This threat may make your relationship hard for you because of lack of communication, lack of understanding, and a major sense of insecurity in a relationship.

It is better to handle such situations with open communication and you majorly need to work on your relationship and try to figure out whether the threats are real or just the heat of the moment.

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