Why do couples divorce when they are empty nesters?
Unstable foundation for family life at an early age can lead towards empty nest divorce. You got married at an early age believing that you have many things in common? You lived together but sadly you felt left out when your children left home.
You realized that you have only been together for your children and nothing is left common in between you and your partner. Unrealistic expectations can put too much pressure on your relationship. Stress and anxiety become constant when couples try to achieve what is not affordable. This causes bitterness in relationships which leads to divorce.
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Why do couples divorce when they are empty nesters?
Being an empty nester can push you into severe grieve and depression. When your children leave the nest empty and you are left alone, with empty mind, thoughts begun to appear such as no more compatibility between you and your partner, no more things seem to be common, you both have the feeling of being stranger for each other and you start having conflicts and separate opinions leading you to decide for divorce.
Do empty nesters get divorced?
Staying in a marriage for the sake of children is not the best option for you but divorce is hard too, because of which many couples choose to stay together for the sake of children. Once the children leave home and it makes you and your partner left alone, leading you to decide to end the marriage. It is common for you and your partner to find it difficult to reconnect with spouse after empty nest. Empty nesters are likely to lead for divorce in their later years.
If your children have flown the coop and you have realized that your marriage won’t last, as you’ve been waiting to divorce until child is 18, maybe you could relate to the following given reasons: –
- Lacking Common Interests
You tried to maintain your marriage while raising children, you most probably have found that there is nothing common left in between you and your partner. All the hobbies you were indulged in before your children, may not have been left the same. This makes you and your partner feel least reasonable to stay in the marriage.
- Setting Apart
After spending your major life time raising your children, you most probably have found that you have grown apart from your partner as you both were busy and focused on rearing your child.
This becomes a problem when your children leave and you feel like a stranger with your partner as you were waiting to divorce until child is 18. This feeling leads to empty nest couples’ marital burnout.
- Increase in infidelity
A lack of common interest, home without kids and setting apart leads to infidelity after you’ve become an empty nester.
This change from a full house to an empty nest leads you to seek comfort outside the marriage and it increases the chance of divorce.
How empty nest affect marriage?
Empty nesters feel alone and left out after their children have gone. Because the children have taken all the energy and time and you have nothing left to relate with your partner. Your focus on family concerns have neglected the marriage. Now when your children have left home you feel like you and your partner no longer know each other, you have lost interest and you have no more compatibility for reconnecting with spouse after empty nest.
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Should an unhappy couple stay together because of a child?
You believe that divorce will cause damage to your children. You and your partner are concerned about this and makes you remain in an unhappy marriage for the sake of children. Is it better to stay together for your children? Yes! Now the point comes to mind: what’s the point of staying in an unhappy marriage? You and your spouse would never want your children to suffer because of your divorce or any such decision leading your children to lack confidence to stand in society.
What is an empty nest syndrome?
Boring empty nest leads towards empty nest syndrome. In this, parents feel grief after their children have flown the coop leading to severe empty nest syndrome. You and your partner might encourage your children to become independent but the feeling of letting them go leaves you behind as an empty nester. This may lead you and your partner into depression and sadness. Adapting the transition is not easy. Couples struggle to accept the new phase in life.
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How do you survive empty nest syndrome?
If you are feeling the severe empty nest syndrome, you need to take few actions to survive it: –
- Open Communication
Many of the problems arise because of lack of communication. It is important for you and your spouse to communicate to overcome things and survive this severe empty nest syndrome together.
- Manage the timing
It is important for you to avoid comparing your children’s routine and timetable with your own expectations. Instead of it, you need to focus on what you can do to help your child succeed when they leave the nest. It’ll help reduce the stress level as it comes with unusual expectations.
- Stay in Touch
It is important for you to survive empty nest syndrome in order to stay close to your children even when you live apart from them. You better stay in regular contact through visits and by various communication ways.
- Keep up the support
To survive severe empty nest syndrome keep sharing your feelings with your loved ones who are able to understand your position. Keep consultation with your doctor regularly in order to avoid empty nest syndrome.
- Keep positive approach
Keep up your approach positive. Think about how you are able to make your life better with your spouse and survive the severe empty nest syndrome.
Severe Empty Nest Syndrome is a reality based thing, but it does not have to be something that leads to an unsatisfying marriage or divorce.
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How do you survive an empty nest?
As your children have left out to stand out in their own lives, don’t let your empty nest push you into depression or syndrome. You need to take a few actions and you are good to go in order to reconnect with your spouse after an empty nest. You may get back to the below schedule to survive your empty nest: –
- Try to keep yourself busy
As a parent it is difficult to focus on your own self as you are concerned about the life of your children. In order to avoid unnecessary depression, keep yourself busy with various hobbies.
- Set a schedule to stay in touch with children
Make sure you stay in touch with your children in order to avoid the feeling of complete absence of your children.
- Retrieve romance with your spouse
Although you and your partner are going through the empty nest grieve, still this is the time when you can reconnect with your spouse and bring back your focus towards each other. This can avoid the divorce and maintain the family dynamic. Plan a vacation or various activities with your partner to restore the relationship.
- Enjoy this phase of life
You can make this time of your life better by reconnecting to your old lost friends, by visiting your most favorite places with your spouse that you both loved to view before. Treat yourself nicely in order to make most better use of this phase of life.
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Every couple goes through this transitional phase of life. Severe Empty Nest Syndrome is a reality-based thing, but it does not have to be something that leads to an unsatisfying marriage or divorce.
You can cope up with this phase of life by engaging yourself in various activities, staying in contact with your children, reconnecting with your spouse, and making the most of this time in order to maintain family dynamics.
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